I have just been reading a review of the celebrity parents of 2012 and it’s made me feel better about myself. Like I’m practically a Supermummy. Because even with all their money and their staff, they still manage to mess it up and here’s why:

1. JESSICA SIMPSON – Baby-in-a-bikini scandal.

2. PEACHES GELDOF – Her baby fell out of the pram.

3. DAVID CAMERON – They left the pub and their child.

4. TOMKAT – For their much publicised divorce and, well, Suri’s high heels.

5. BEYONCE – Okay, maybe not a fail for her, but for all of us because, really, it’s just not cool to look like she did weeks after having her first child

6. ANGELINA JOLIE – For that LEG. And how to embarrass your kids forever.

Really, folks – you might be a better parent than you think.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about what my accomplishments and failures have been in 2012 and I’ve done a little review of myself:


1. I didn’t go to Sports Day.

Okay, in my defence Sports Day was rescheduled because due to that one nice day in April being our summer, it rained and was moved.

So I actually didn’t find out until the day so it came down to a decision between Starbucks or Sports Day and, well, I didn’t want to disappoint my mate, or my cappuccino.

2. I thought my son was faking being ill.

My eldest can be a hypochondriac.

Quite often I have to use the line “If I don’t see vomit, then you’re not really sick”.

This one day he was coughing really badly but still managing to do somersaults on the trampoline and eat 573 Oreos.

But at Sports Day (see above), he practically passed out and was a very sorry sight sat in the shade whilst everyone was doing the sack race.

Or so I’m told – because I wasn’t there. I took him to the doctors and, would ya believe it, he totally wasn’t faking. He’s developed asthma and had to go on the nebulizer plus have steroids.

3. I don’t do crafts.

My toddler is obsessed with painting. It’s all he wants to do 24/7 but he is so rubbish at getting the paint on the paper plus he always knocks over the water.

This one day I told him that the paints had run out of batteries.


1. I get three children ready, in the car and to three different schools without never ever being late.

Even though, against the odds, I have spent 20 minutes on Twitter and I’m running low on petrol.

2. I have survived numerous school holidays without hardly even drinking.

I took them to the Olympics, on weekends away, walked in woods, paddled in streams and endless amounts of sweets.

3. On occasion I have been known to wear a nice outfit which totally inspires other mothers to get out of their joggers.

I think my kids have survived being parented better than I have survived the parenting.

I can probably kiss bye-bye to that Parent Of The Year nomination, but hey I’m doing as well as some celebrities.

Maybe I’ll do better next year.

Then again, maybe not.