Three-time divorcee discusses ‘seven-year itch’ on This Morning

Helen and Pete Meissner with Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford

Helen and Pete Meissner with Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford - Credit: Archant

A three-time divorcee has discussed her “seven-year itch” on national telvision as she approaches the milestone with her fourth husband.

Helen Meissner, who lives in Walkern, appeared on ITV chatshow This Morning last week alongside husband Pete.

Presenters Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford asked the 47-year-old mother-of-two about her previous three marriages – all of which have ended after approximately seven years.

Mrs Meissner, who runs music promotions company Folkstock Arts Foundation, offered advice to couples struggling with their relationships.

She said: “I think the seven year itch is a cliche because if it’s still not working at seven years, you might believe it never will. It’s hard to stay in a relationship which is lacking something(s) they think you need. If you split at seven years perhaps you’ve probably had a few years of soul searching.

“The YOLO culture is also a powerful motivator to change something which is not working. It’s so easy to get completely immersed in a full time relationship when you are an adult which does not allow time to get to know someone properly, without it looking like you are holding back. So you might fall into relationships unwittingly which are not right for you, but it’s hard to see that at first when you are headlong in love.

“If you feel that you can’t continue in a long term relationship, then planning how you are going to end it and, especially if you have children, how you will co-parent after will make everything easier for the future.

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“A divorce is not a failure in itself but a messy divorce will have a far greater long term effect on your life than the marriage which caused it. I have the utmost respect for people who can stay married, it often shows considerable self sacrifice. I thought all my marriages were the ‘real deal’ and have been really upset when they’ve ended, but have tried not to throw the ‘baby out with the bathwater’ and remain on civil terms.

“I thought I had reached the point of no return with my current marriage many times but now I can see that what appears to be the end of the road can be a ‘blip’ and that humans are much more resilient than we think. Warmth and affection can return gradually if you are able to distract yourself during the very difficult times. Having had to reconsider everything when I had breast cancer, I now trust in our ability to resolve issues and can see this one lasting.”