BEING of a certain age, I must admit to a measure of computer illiteracy. If the level of my knowledge was gauged in terms of our academic system, I would be in junior school, writes John Adams. The only solace I can take is that some people I know would

BEING of a certain age, I must admit to a measure of computer illiteracy. If the level of my knowledge was gauged in terms of our academic system, I would be in junior school, writes John Adams.

The only solace I can take is that some people I know would be in infant school.

The other day I saw a reference to a twitter post and could only think that it referred to a perch occupied by a singing bird.

Broadband is something else which mostly puzzles me. The only thing I know for certain is that it seems to cost an awful lot of money each month. And this week I learn that I - and the rest of the nation - am paying more than I should for it.

It was revealed that there is a gap between the advertised broadband speeds and the reality of what consumers can actually get.

For quite some time, suppliers have been advertising up to 8Mb speeds on the basis that at least some consumers were able to get that speed.

But now it has emerged from an Ofcom study that in fact no one paying for an 8Mb package can get an 8Mb speed.

The best known website which encourages consumers to switch and save is urging Ofcom to ensure that broadband providers revise their advertising so that it does not over promise and under deliver.

The website says people must be made aware of exactly what speeds are achievable where they live and the price of their package should reflect this.

This still sounds a bit technical to me. Why should it matter where you live? All I know for certain is that if I press a wrong key the computer is very quick to punish me.

But then the website folk come to my aid by putting it in a way I can begin to understand: "If you were eating in a restaurant offering a three-course meal, you wouldn't expect to be given only two courses because your table is too far from the kitchen."

The penny is beginning to drop. It's just a pity that the pounds will not be following on my bill for broadband.

The other thing I have never really got the hang of is texting. I can touch type with the best of them on a keyboard but the keypad of a mobile phone is a very different animal.

While it would take one of my kids mere seconds to tap in a message and send it, the same missive could take me minutes.

If you want to communicate with someone by phone, why not just ring them? It is much better to have a voice on the phone rather than a beep as the next text comes in.

But I am fighting a losing battle, I discover.

Most Brits make less than one mobile phone call a day - and even fewer on their home landline - but 60 billion text messages are sent a year in the UK. The average person sends 67 texts a month. Make that one a month, if that, from me.