There’s more to shopping than I thought

BEING a man, I am of course unaware of anything going on around me.

So it came as something of a surprise to learn that nearly all women are constantly sizing up men in the supermarket.

The sly eye is cast mostly at the checkout. That’s where almost nine out of 10 women judge their fellow customers on the contents of their shopping basket.

From research just released, it seems that nothing impresses a women more than a man who buys red wine and new potatoes.

I carry on reading and discover that what they observe while waiting can help women decide the income of the man under investigation, what kind of lifestyle they lead and whether they’d make a good partner or even father.

Red wine was the top item women associate with a man who has a good job, not surprisingly beating other more mundane produce such as mince, soup, fish and ketchup.

Fresh fruit and vegetables were also winners with 87 per cent of women questioned naming new potatoes, joint with apples, as the best examples to show that a man would make a good partner or husband.

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The same vegetable, fruit plus cucumber topped the list of items women associate with a man who would make a good father.

I don’t see it myself, but then I don’t have the mind of a woman.

But going along with it, I can warn my fellow males that the big basket turn-offs for women include cans of lager with more than eight in 10 of them associating the brew with a man who leads an unhealthy lifestyle. How could they possibly think that?

Try to hide instant soup under other goods on the conveyor belt – it convinces 86 per cent of women that a man is lazy and 80 per cent that he has a poor job and salary. It doesn’t seem to matter if he just likes the stuff.

Researchers came to the conclusion that in less time than it takes a man to decide between a shopping basket and a trolley – I think they are being harsh here – women have sized men up and come to some big conclusions. They put this at under 10 seconds for two thirds of women, which seems very quick to me, but who am I to argue.

A female relationship expert was quoted as saying: “Women are trained to spot suitable males, and have many unconscious ways of assessing a man’s partnership potential including his height, the symmetry of his features and even his smell.

“Secretly snooping at a man’s shopping is just the modern way of seeing what kind of provider he would be.”

My advice to men who want to pull is this: stick some red wine, new potatoes, apples and cucumber in your basket or trolley every time you go shopping. You can always drink the vino and throw away the rest when you get home.