Seeing the funny side of the recession

THE world in general and bankers in particular conjured up the worst recession for three decades, plunging many people into a miserable existence. But even that terrible time – which hopefully we are now coming out of although I fear it is going to take a

THE world in general and bankers in particular conjured up the worst recession for three decades, plunging many people into a miserable existence.

But even that terrible time - which hopefully we are now coming out of although I fear it is going to take a long while - has not been so bad as to extinguish mankind's indomitable spirit.

Hit back with defiance and humour is often the best way when your back is against the wall, and that is just what people have done in the world of work.

Some marvellous examples have come to my notice and I think they are worth sharing.


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New phrases have been coined to describe the situations people have found themselves in.

With money becoming tight, hungry workers opting for a cheap lunch are said to be having a "credit munch".

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If a reduction in the workforce is seen as necessary, companies now have the option to bring in "chainsaw consultants" to make the cuts.

Workers are not fired these days, they are "de-cruited" or "uninstalled". For those who suffer this fate it may be enough give them a "bog shaker" which is a different term for the traditional breakdown in the office lavatory.

Wags have come up with a new expression prompted by the MPs' expenses scandal. They have dubbed a false expenses claim as a "parliamentary bonus".

Despite all this creativity in the office - or perhaps because of it - researchers for a TV channel have come to the conclusion that the use of jargon is reckoned to be one of the most irritating types of office behaviour. It is beaten only by unnecessary meetings and IT problems. Or should that be "gratuitous gatherings" and "computer conundrums".

At least these inventions are mostly funny and spelled correctly unlike the unsolicited scam letters received by email, often promising millions of dollars for doing nothing more than providing one's bank details. They seemed to have tailed off lately in my inbox but one I got recently caught my attention because it was modest in its demands.

It was supposedly from "Trudi" who marked it "urgent please" and started off: "How are you doing?"

That was the only bit of it which made sense. Trudi went on: "I hope this email reaches you on time, i had a trip to the Scotland, but unfortunately for me i lost my Purse at the airport, i only got to realize this on my way to the hotel where i lodged and this has caused me a thing thereby making me stranded."

My heart was not going out to Trudi. But she plugged on: "I need you to kindly assist me with about (�1,000.00) so that i can settle the hotel bills and make arrangement to return back home, please let me know how much you can assist me with soonest. Please let me know immediately."

Don't hold your breath, Trudi, there won't be anything heading your way from here in the England.

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