THIS school holiday seems to have gone on and on, especially since my husband has decided now is the only time in the rest of forever that he can possibly go to Dubai.

His best friend lives there and because he’s taken one of our children with him, I’ve not been allowed to complain.

Typically, it’s magnificent weather and whilst they’ve been frolicking about in deserts and up the Burj Khalifa, I’ve had to entertain our younger two in the rain and cold. There’s nothing quite as effective as bad weather with cabin-fevered kids to bring out the worst in families. Mother Nature is laughing manically because, of course, her kids have all grown up and left home.

Here are some of the activities that have helped fill our days and keep us entertained. Yes we read books, draw pictures and play games but this is the other eleven hours:

1. Watch whatever on the iPad because Mummy can’t get up before 8am when there’s no school run.

2. Spend 2 hours getting ready to go out then be out for 10 minutes.

3. Go to the village shop for one thing and spend £25.

4. Do a jigsaw for 30 seconds then discover most of the pieces are missing.

5. Lie on the dog and let the dog lie on us.

6. Play wrestling until Mummy shouts “I’m not going to A&E!” and everyone cries.

7. Think about going food shopping.

8. Pop to a play area, queue for half an hour to get in, then decide we don’t want to play there after all. Make sure Mummy spends £50 first.

9. Cover the kitchen chairs with sellotape then watch Mummy unpick it.

10. Google “Am I losing my mind?”

11. Build a den with all the cushions, pillows and duvets that collapses immediately.

12. Play Hide&Seek and always, always hide in the bath.

13. Go to the pet shop to look at bunnies and fish. Stress out all the shop assistants.

14. Text our friends and discover they are busy for the rest of the holidays.

15. Go to the other village shop for one thing and spend £15. Forget to buy the one thing (milk).

16. Walk the dog and fall in a muddy puddle within minutes of walk. Make Mummy carry the scooters and bikes the whole time.

17. Google “Does watching three hours of TV harm a child?”

18. Invent a game that involves pretend sleeping.

19. Go the cash point (again) and buy sweets (again) that make the kids hyper (again)

20. Explain to the kids about the importance of playing by themselves without hitting each other so they can grow up to be independent adults.

The kids are back in school on Tuesday so there are about twelve weeks left until the big summer holiday.

Thankfully that means at least two sunny days.