Battling it out to be No 1 at Xmas

IT S on its way, there s nothing we can do to stop it no matter how much we try. As sure as night follows day, tadpoles turn into frogs and Chelsea will triumph over Man United this season (well, perhaps that s not quite certain). Yes, it s Christmas… Not

IT'S on its way, there's nothing we can do to stop it no matter how much we try. As sure as night follows day, tadpoles turn into frogs and Chelsea will triumph over Man United this season (well, perhaps that's not quite certain).

Yes, it's Christmas...

Not the whole thing, I wouldn't be such a spoilsport. What gets up my nose is the Christmas Number 1 single in the pop charts which to my mind, and many others, is something which has become much devalued in recent years.

Once it used to be moderately interesting to look on as many acts competed for the coveted spot. It used to be a genuine competition, quite often with the ever youthful Cliff Richard in the race. Now, all we need to know is the identity of the X Factor winner to find out who will be crooning the Xmas No. 1.

It is so predictable and boring. And it's not only me thinking this - a survey out this week reveals that fear of another X Factor yuletide No. 1 tops the poll of the Christmas intolerance list.

A quarter of people asked said just the anticipation was enough to get their intolerance levels rising.

I would have thought that the X Factor winner keeping Sir Cliff off the top spot would he a mitigating feature of that person's defence but it does not really come into it because the man formerly known as Harry Webb racked up a whopping 29 per cent of votes in the poll, putting him just above Christmas carols being played continuously in shops. And this is a man who has not had a No. 1 hit of any kind for donkey's years.

He was 17 slots above joke reindeer antlers in the annoyance stakes, which was just above opening the wrong day of your advent calendar in 20th place.

In between Nos. 2 and 19 are some interesting ones including repeats on TV - once especially a Christmas thing but now something common throughout the year - queues in shops, broken fairy lights, awful presents, washing up, hangovers, Christmas cracker hats that rip as soon as you put them on your head, and carol singers who have become a long-suffering breed of late.

The post-lunch kip could be the solution to escape the build up of stress as the survey indicates that 3pm is the most popular time for the first festive argument on Christmas Day.

But it's not all doom and gloom. Eighty per cent of Brits admit to liking Christmas along with all its faults. And a quarter of them said they get frustrated by those who do not get into the Christmas spirit. So relax and enjoy yourself.

Talking about Christmas spirit, something I won't be doing is taking up the suggestion of a PR company which sent me a recipe for a mould (sic) wine. That's one thing I won't have to mull over.