All you need is (virtual) love

I KNOW I dream but I can never remember what I dream about. In the second or so between sleeping and wakefulness the subject of my nocturnal mental wanderings slips away into the mists of time.

So the predicted future of sleep won’t affect me much I reckon.

Interactive dreaming, virtual love making and sleep studying are, apparently set to transform how we will be sleeping in the future, according to a new report.

A study conducted on behalf of a hotel chain investigated the impact of new technology on sleep.

This concludes that within the next two decades the hotel room will be so technologically advanced that it will almost be alive.

It is said that cutting edge technology will monitor customers’ energy levels, physical well-being, emotions and mood to help ensure they achieve a good night’s sleep.

The virtual love making intrigued me, purely on an academic level of course.

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It is thought that such a thing will be possible by 2030, allowing individuals to connect with their partner while away from home.

Couples will be able to link peripheral nervous systems via active skin electronics for enhanced love making. This, it is promised, will enable both individuals to experience each other’s feelings and emotions.

But with this new technology comes the opportunity for duplicity.

By wearing active lenses to change the image delivered to their retinas, individuals will be able to adjust how their partner looks while making love. And, here’s the trickery, only they will be aware what is going on visually as their lover will not be able to tell what they are looking at.

Another thing, active contact lenses worn under the eyelids (sounds uncomfortable) will allow sleepers in the future to watch TV, movies or check emails as they fall asleep.

I’ll pass on all this, thank you very much. All I ever want to do is naturally nod off and have a good night’s sleep.

Another poll which caught my eye this week has chocolate topping the poll for the thing that makes most people smile. Not surprising, really, it is lovely stuff.

It just beat “seeing a loved one” as the best smile-maker.

Yellow was the colour which made most people smile.

Getting back to food, yet another poll reveals that fish and chips are in the top spot of a list of the 50 things we love most about Britain.

The cup of tea was in second place followed by Yorkshire puddings, strawberries and cream, the Sunday roast, the English breakfast, Cheddar cheese and bacon sandwiches.

The only non-food items to make the top 10 were Buckingham Palace and The Queen.

The next 10 were dominated by best loved landmarks including Big Ben, Stonehenge, the Tower of London and the Lake District. But the Beatles were in there at No 12. They were the only musicians to make the list, and Dr Who was the only TV show.

I know doctors claim to be overworked, and a headline in a national newspaper the other day seemed to justify their claim. This read: “Ten million cannot get to see GP in two days.”