All that glitters is not gold

I MUST admit that I am not an expert at interviews from the applicant side of the desk.

I’ve quizzed plenty of people who want work – and got some very mixed responses from brash young people to shrinking violets – but actually sitting in the hot seat and being bombarded with questions has only happened to me twice.

Of those hopefuls looking to start a career in journalism, I have kept a straight face when getting odd replies but they have never been really whacky.

That’s unlike some of those received by a recruitment specialist who has revealed them to a world ready for a laugh.

Three of the job seekers did not utter a word. One brought his mother to the interview and let her do all the talking.


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Another did not even turn up – he sent his sister in his place.

Yet another entered the room with a cockatoo on his shoulder.

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A fourth one managed to answer a few questions then picked up his mobile and called his parents to let them know the interview was going well.

Another quirky candidate sang all her responses to questions.

It gets better. When asked by a senior manager if he had any questions for him, the applicant could think of nothing other than tell a knock-knock joke. I don’t know if it was even funny.

One desperate candidate handcuffed himself to the desk during the interview.

Blunders can work the other way. A hiring manager asked why a woman why she was leaving her current job and she replied bluntly: “My manager is a jerk. All managers are jerks.”

When asked what motivated him, another said: “I’ve got a big house and a big car and a big credit card balance. Pay me, and I’ll be happy” I don’t know what the outcome was, but I have a feeling he left disappointed.

One candidate arrived in a cat suit while another waltzed into the room clad in pyjamas and slippers.

Yet another was praised on his choice of college and brazenly admitted: “I’m glad that got your attention. I didn’t really go there.”

Finally, one woman arrived for an early morning interview, asked to use the office phone then faked a coughing fit as she called in sick to her boss.

I’m pretty sure that there is a chocolate confectionary called Gold. Perhaps you all know this but I sometimes get confused by the plethora of products on the market.

If I do come across the name on the front of a vending machine, I think I will avoid the temptation to put money in. I could end up making myself bankrupt.

On Tuesday in a west London shopping centre, the first gold vending machine in Britain was switched on.

Shoppers passing by can dig deep into their pockets and start investing in the precious metal

Prices will be updated every 10 minutes, but the cost of a 1g coin will be about �40. A 250g bar will set you back around �10,250., Helpfully, the voracious machine will accept credit cards.

I’ll stay away. I don’t relish being mugged by mistake for a bar of chocolate.

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