Will it be many nappy returns to the good old days?

PUBLISHED: 14:04 06 April 2006 | UPDATED: 09:58 06 May 2010

THANKFULLY, I can remember nothing about my time as a baby in nappies. But I do know that what was wrapped round the relevant bit of my tiny body was made of cloth because there was no alternative in those days. Taking care of the business meant mums slui

THANKFULLY, I can remember nothing about my time as a baby in nappies.

But I do know that what was wrapped round the relevant bit of my tiny body was made of cloth because there was no alternative in those days.

Taking care of the business meant mums sluicing the offending article before plunging it into a bucket to be soaked and cleansed prior to drying and reusing.

The prospect of having to deal with such things when I became a father did not exactly worry me as I grew up but I think I must have subconsciously given a sigh of relief when the disposable nappy was invented.

When my brood came along, cloth nappies were a thing of the past and disposables were all the rage.

I could well see why. Changing nappies was a breeze.

But of course there had to be a downside to this wonderful invention and some environmentalists began sticking in their noses and predicting dire times ahead.

According to some of these harbingers of doom, the millions of disposables being used and, well, disposed of were a bad thing because there were so many of them, they would takes hundreds of years to biodegrade and in the meantime they would clog up landfill sites until they were chock a block and then some.

Something had to be done to ward off this imminent and massive danger and someone came up with a cracking idea - go back to the old days.

And so began, if you excuse the expression, the movement to real nappies.

If babies minded, they did not say. But all the new parents for whom we have bought presents when their babies have come along have been more than happy to accept disposables. Not one has said 'thanks, but we prefer the real variety'.

I wonder just how many people have chosen old fashioned.

Whatever the answer, the promoters of such items this month celebrate the 10th anniversary of Real Nappy Week.

However, I think the Women's Environmental Network is going a bit far in its claim when it says: "No longer just an eco and economic option, real nappies are now a fashionable lifestyle choice." Really?

And they go on to enthuse that "the latest in sassy nappy style and high street chic" - oh, come on - will be shown off on catwalks around the UK and abroad.

Will the models be demonstrating how they can walk before they can crawl?

Talking about nasty, smelly things, I see that having only a basic grasp of English is not stopping tricksters from trying to part the gullible from their money.

The latest email con attempt to reach my computer promises that people will earn £1,000 in the first week and £7,000 in a month.

The missive begins: "Dear Mr. (Mrs), please read carefully this offer!"

The supposed business says it is "looking for peoples from United Kingdom, and we have excellent open vacancy in our company! You don't need pay nothing for start!!!!"

He's right - I don't need pay nothing for start and I intend paying nothing after that as well.


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